My story & journey into motherhood.
At the age of 31 I lost my mum to cancer. She was my role model, we had a very close relationship and we were very similar. She was warm, nurturing, ambitious and just loved to help people. I got married 10 months after losing her. which I found to be a very bittersweet experience, doing it all without her by my side. I used hypnotherapy, for the first time, to help to support the difficult feelings I had around my wedding day because of her not being there, as I so wanted to feel happy and joyful and not allow the grief to overcome and consume me.
Hypnotherapy allowed me to celebrate and enjoy the day without anxiety or fear, so when I fell pregnant with my first child, it seemed only natural to try Hypnobirthing. I was overwhelmed with excitement and gratitude, during my pregnancy, but there was a deep underlying fear about going through this major stage in my life and experiencing pregnancy, labour, birth and motherhood without my mum. I had my partner but could no longer share all of these special moments with her.
For me there was a strange connection between birth and death, the loss of someone very special and then the birth of a new life – my first child. I was concerned because I thought it could bring up overwhelming feelings of grief, especially with the cocktail of hormones and a family history including mental illness and post-natal depression. Because of this, hypnobirthing seemed like a really great tool for me to use, especially after the support that hypnotherapy gave me previously.
Hypnobirthing helped me as a grieving mother-to-be in several ways. First of all I became aware of my fears and anxieties and could focus on working on my confidence, and to feel empowered in making informed choices. I felt more grounded, and calm throughout my pregnancy and trusted my body and my intuition. The hypnosis sessions I found profoundly powerful in taking me to my safe place through visualisation, and helping me to find peace and acceptance in knowing that even though my mum wasn’t here in person, I felt her as a part of who I am, and so I knew that I could do this, and be a great mum just as she was to me.
Hypnobirthing allowed me to engage in a positive mindset around birth and beyond, and through that, I realised that I wanted to share it to help other people. After having my first birth I recognised just how much hypnobirthing impacted, not only my birth experience, but also my grief and mindset as a new mother. I felt less anxious and was able to show myself kindness and compassion as a new mum, even without my own mum. I used hypnobirthing audios to help to rest, relax and take some time for myself. I really did fall in love with the idea of helping support others with birth, utilising the incredible tools of hypnobirthing, but also using these techniques within the space of grief support as well, as I knew that could be an isolating time as a mother-to-be, or new mum without your mum. I wanted to pull these two passions together and the knowledge and skills I have learned in my own journey to share with other pregnant women who have lost a parent.
